Are you holding a grudge? About?

I do not hold grudges. I think it is a waste of mental space and energy to hold a grudge. I have yet to find a purpose for a grudge in my mind and soul. Grudges can cause pain, so if I am holding a grudge, I hold on to that pain, where it continues to play a part in my life and it stops me from living my life. I choose my happiness over that pain.

I used to hold grudges, and it depressed me. It was always an internal struggle with questions that started with what if, would have, could have or should have, and there is never an answer.

At the end of the day none of these questions matter, and since the event has already taken place, there is nothing you can change about it. You cannot control what other people say or do. The only thing you can do is learn from the event, analyze the action, and your reaction, and try to prevent it from happening in the future. Sometimes, you just know it will happen in the future again – though even then, you can come up with a plan to be prepared and ready to deal with whatever comes your way so you can better handle these situations as they arise.

Sure, there will always be scenarios that happen that disappoint us, people that disappoint because they have their own baggage and character flaws, and just people with a bad day taking it out on you. That does not mean you need to react as a victim, or even get angry – and it does not mean that you need to listen to what they say perse, that choice is yours!

Once you figure out your freedom of choice on how you react to a scenario, you can change your mindset. People who used to trigger you may actually wonder if you are okay because you are no longer getting upset. you may seem cold to people who trigger you intentionally, even though it is just that you choose not to let people hurt you and it literally is like an arrow coming straight at you and your “shield” makes that arrow drop at your feet without hurting you.

Pain is mostly caused by our mind. If you hold onto negative events that hurt you, negative feelings towards people because they hurt you, it will cause you to experience physical symptoms, and it will cause you to stop living your life. Do not let people get to you, do not let these triggers hurt you, give it a place, like that arrow in front of your feet. People are going to be who they are. They say stupid and insensitive things and it is your choice to either accept or not accept. You do not have to accept everything that people say.

Live your life the way it makes you happy, without pain, anguish, fears, and irritation. Life is simply too short and you your time is better vested by enjoying your moments every single day.